Studio Day. There have been a lot of emergencies lately, and one in particular that (as they do) just stings to my core. Things like this always turn my head and set me questioning in confusion and anxiety. Considering I have anxiety- no big shock there.
One things for sure, however: I have a job to do. Take it or leave it, and I keep choosing to pick up that brush again. I love watching my art progress and change over time. I thoroughly enjoy finding new ways to express myself, doing a tango with identity, uncovering stories, and playing with both materials and the ways in which we as artists deliver our goods.
There is a secondary lesson one learns after years of this. That lesson is how to pick up the brush joyfully, to do the work in a spirit of faith, gratitude, happiness and love, despite what is happening off the clock. Maybe even BECAUSE of it. Emergency or no, when I sit down at the desk my work is a love affair with my being in the world, my claiming a spot, my calling my voice, and my making my mark.
This week I have a couple of big projects seeking my attention. I'm sweating. I'm staying up nights. Okay, it took me some time to recognize that anxiety was back and needing some care and attention. Still, when I am at my desk, I give my mind a little fairy dust to muse over: instead of working the numbers, instead of endlessly chattering at me, instead of judgements and presupposing MORE doomsday scenarios.
I infuse my body, my home, and my brush with what I love. I think about berry picking with my nephews, imagining the fresh green scent of Sauvie Island and the slow slip of mud under my feet. I listen to good music. I have lots of fruit handy for my sweet tooth, water to drink, and do many stretches. I make good use of my door to the roof, which looks out to open sky and trees upon trees.
There is truth in the emergencies and pitfalls we fall into in life, and there is also truth in the wonderful capacity we have for reaching down deep into our experience... and making something beautiful out of it.
I am so thankful for each and every one of my teachers, supporters, and cheerleaders who are waiting for me on the other side of this project, of this process, of this latest hurdle to get over. But more: I am doing my work today, and packaging my Post subscriptions this week, with a full heart for you all walking along side me right now.